Doesn’t it seem easier to avoid those stressful, scary, or uncomfortable things you know you should be doing? I was reminded of this as I spoke with a client recently. They were avoiding having a difficult conversation with a direct report. It turned out they were avoiding it because of the fear the other person would become angry or defensive.
As managers and leaders, it’s normal to want to avoid things like difficult conversations or any other essential but challenging task.
Avoidance is what we do when we feel anxious, scared, or stressed about something we need to do. Avoidance is robbing you of all you’re capable of doing in your career. We rationalize our way out of things, for example, “Maybe that direct report just had a bad week, and that explains their poor performance, so I won’t say anything.” Or “I’m not going to ask for that raise because I haven’t worked hard enough.”
Avoiding what you aren’t comfortable doing is making it worse.
The discomfort we have facing things is much less than the monster we create in our heads of what it would actually be like. Avoidance is not being your best self. Showing up and facing the discomfort or fear of the thing is what we need to do.
What do you want to be doing and should be doing as a manager or leader? Think about what you are avoiding. Ask yourself why you’re not doing them. What are the stories you tell yourself that keep you stuck and avoid doing what you know you want and need to do? What actions can you take towards those things that matter the most that would stop this avoidance?
Pick one thing you’ve been avoiding, take a deep breath, and then do it! Trust me. You’ll feel a lot better.