“I see myself and this experience as a journey like I’m going from Steve the Grey to Steve the White,” said a client of mine recently. That’s when I had one of those eye-opening insight moments! My client described how he saw himself as going from Steve the Grey to Steve the White, like how Gandalf (Lord Of The Rings) transformed from Gandalf the Grey into his true heroic self, Gandalf the White, after coming out of his struggle and almost death with the Balrog.
My “ah-ha” moment of insight was that all of my clients are on their own version of the hero’s journey.
Steve was fired after his company went through a merger/acquisition. He was one of the executives that the acquiring company replaced with one of their own. Steve had seen this coming but refused the “call” to make a move himself before they did it themselves. For the next few months, Steve really struggled and went to some very dark places with depression and anxiety and felt totally lost.
When I first spoke with Steve, he was in a place of despair and loss. It had been about five months since he had been fired, and he was getting desperate to find another job. His job search had been a series of “no’s” or near misses in the final rounds. Something was missing, and he was struggling with what he referred to as “the darkest moment of his life.”
As we began to unravel what was really going on and worked on what he really wanted to be (his future career self), he started to see the light. He began to see how this experience was helping him find a sense of purpose in the world. He envisioned himself as an authentic heart-based servant leader who helped others/direct reports become something they never dreamed possible. To help others never experience the type of leadership that he had during the merger. To be the leader that brought others up and into their true potential.
Steve recently got the executive leadership position he was dreaming of. That aligned with the image of his future self, his career vision of being that authentic heart-based servant leader. And serendipitously, for a company in the struggle/trial phase of its own after removing most of the toxic leadership and looking to rebuild trust with the employees and clients. Ironically, the company was going through its own version of a hero’s journey.
We all are on some sort of journey, hero’s journey, or call it what you may. I see this in all of my clients and, honestly, myself as well.
There are three main parts, as Joseph Campbell outlines in his book The Hero With a Thousand Faces:
- The departure or the call to adventure where the hero leaves the security of the known.
- This is the whisper, the nudge, or maybe the kick in the ass telling you it’s time for a change. For a new direction, that what you’re doing isn’t working as well as it used to, or maybe never even did work.
- In our careers, this can be the whisper of overwhelm, running on the hamster wheel whacking moles all day, the feeling of languishing in our current role, or that annoying voice at 3 am that won’t let you sleep.
- Do you listen to the whisper, the call? Or do you resist it, avoid it, push it away, as most of us do? Like Steve did? Until it came back and kicked him in the ass, pushed him out the door (literally and figuratively)? Because that’s what happens. When we resist the call, it will continue to show up, louder and louder, until it finally gets our attention through an epic failure, firing, health crisis…
- Initiation Stage: This is where the hero must face trials and tribulations. They will meet allies, enemies, and mentors and will not always succeed but must continue on.
- This means heading into the unknown, the new territory of exploration and curiosity. This is where real learning takes place—professional and personal growth.
- For Steve, this meant wrestling with his inner demons and darkness about confidence in his leadership abilities. Being an unemployed type A, highly driven person with too much time on his hands and having to sit with himself and all the ways of his being that were not serving him anymore. Having to sit with all the fear, all the doubt. The demons were whispering in his ear: “You’re a fraud!” “You’re not a leader!” “You were fired because you couldn’t do the job!” “You’ll never get another executive position again!” “Look at you, you’ll have to work in the electrical section of the local hardware store!”
- However, along the way, Steve reached out to past colleagues/allies for support. He hired an executive coach (me) to help mentor him through. And like any hero, no matter what demon or challenge showed up each day, he kept going.
- The Return Stage: The hero returns home but is no longer the same and has undergone an internal transformation.
- Steve the Grey is now confidently Steve the White. He’s returned from his journey through the darkness a changed person. He’s found a sense of clarity and purpose of being the leader that helps others grow, succeed, and not experience what he experienced through authentic, heart-based servant leadership. He’s passionate about being the best leader he can be and has a greater sense of calm and contentment now, a greater sense of fulfillment, and overall success in his career.
Listen, do you hear something? Don’t wait until you’re pulled off the cliff into the abyss. Be courageous, step up and be your heroic self. Go with curiosity and make those changes to create that career of fulfillment and success that you’ve always dreamed of. I’m here to tell you it won’t be easy, but it might be the best thing you’ve ever done.